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Old 08-29-11, 10:18 AM
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janny108 janny108 is offline
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Location: Arizona
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Default relating in church

social club vs fellowship

how can you tell the difference?
In other churches in the past I made friends. Here I'm having a hard time a bit and I've lived here 10 years and have been with this church for 1 yr. I can't compete with these folks that have known each other for years. I guess I feel if I'm too nice and open up a little, I will get blown off and a lot of people like their little groups.
Anyone else have a hard time relating in church?

Seems like the big emphasis is how many events in church you go to which makes me think it's more about being social. I mean they are good christians but that's what it feels like. Also my daughter is almost 13 she's old enough to be involved in youth, and my husband just goes to service and maybe an evening service. I'd like for all of us to be seen as a family and make friends as such.
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Old 08-29-11, 03:06 PM
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Ann Ann is offline
Join Date: Oct 1998
Location: GA
Posts: 34,963

Hello Jan
In Ask you will get pretty much one point of view - would you like me to copy this to CF or Doorway so others can reply too?

I understand I wish I did not understand as well as I do. The last church we went to Charles felt very accepted and at home and I felt like very much an outsider. Some of that was me, and us. Some was that many of those people have known each other not just years but generations and having that common history of course relate more closely to each other yet some were wonderful prayer warriors and cheerleaders for Charles when he needed them so much. Many times people are caught up in their own lives, situations, problems, business and just don't think to reach out or are not sure their reaching out is welcome. When we first came to the mountains we were blessed with a church that was very gifted in welcoming people and inviting them into the church family so I know it is possible. Maybe I was spoiled because after that pastor died there has not been another place where there was that same sense of being home. So I am not sure I am the best person to reply with something useful.

One thing I have learned is that volunteering to help is usually - not always but usually - a way to fit in especially if you are helping with things that several people do together. For ex if your church has covered dish meals offer to help clean up. Most people won't so the few who do become somewhat close. Making a point to speak to people, to ask and then listen how they are how something went if we know of something in their lives, ask advice people love to give advice and of course you are free to take or not take their suggestions. You might even ask other moms of young teens how to help Ashley bond more closely to the church. You can possibly think of other things that fit your situation.

For you as for me part of us is looking for social connections even while we say sadly that things are a social club,
1Peter 2:24 Who his own self bare our sins in his own body on the tree, that we, being dead to sins, should live unto righteousness: by whose stripes ye were healed.

And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me. ... Then shall he answer them, saying, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye did it not to one of the least of these, ye did it not to me. Matthew 25:40 & 45
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Old 08-29-11, 03:51 PM
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janny108 janny108 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,477

Hi Ann,
Yes you can post this elsewhere in the forums.

Yes I do volunteer as a greeter and also help out in the office even if it's folding the bulletins.
I have taken a meal out to a sick person too. I've done this with several churches.

funny but I ask how people are and they don't ask me. the last person who asked me about my personal life was my doctor! It was not a medical limited conversation either, she really wanted to know. And that meant a lot to me.
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church, family, fellowship, making connections, making friends, social clib

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